Bonjour,I dont speak French

Oui,it is me back from Paris!That’s the extent of my french knowledge. I went to Paris for memorial day weekend, because flight deal.The flight was from BWI-EWR-CDG. An early morning landing at CDG,was the start of our Paris troubles.After landing there at 8 am,we find out the other half of our group didn’t land because Reagan airport was only letting one plane go an hour at a time. This made them miss their connecting flight and 2 more subsequent flights.Being the wonderful friends we are,they asked us to get their bag.After meandering through confusing English to french translations and various hand gestures confirming right or left we finally get to their terminal.

All to find out that the terminal was on lock down because of a suspicious package.So here we are in paris,stuck in a terminal for an hour because of a package.

After traveling across terminals for two hours to realize we cant get the bag.I try and exchange money at the aiport.

Mistake #1.My 300 USD became 235 Euros because of an 18%tax as well as commission fee.Well Yaa!Why not go to the bank.Because it was a bank holiday…Can I just say we landed at 7:45 and its now nearing 10 am?

Lets call an Uber! We call our uber,uber tries to call us because he cant find us.Cant pick up because Yaa doesn’t use data plans abroad because fine and frugal.We get in our uber and Im asking questions.STOP RIGHT THERE!I don’t speak french he doesn’t speak english. Now we sit in silence in slight confusion until we get to our airbnb!

We stayed on Rue de Cambodge street in the 11th arrondissement . It was beautiful inside.It used to be an old ball bearing factory or something of that sort. Very rustic but had lots of space which we enjoyed.Now on to the hunt for sustenance!We walked around and found a little bistro.

Also my lips look big here because of my hives -_-

Mistake #2:Please check Yelp reviews/ tripadvisor .It can save you 25 euros.I had terrible wine and very and a pizza.They don’t have pepperoni in France i realized after the fact.So the ham pizza I ordered was in fact ham.

The waiter played my life after he saw me picking off the ham and goes ‘THIS IS HAM’ in a slightly aggressive french tone………I know what ham is sir.

The time difference is affecting us slightly so we take a nap and wake up in search of food since our meal was less than appetizing.The trip group I have on fb suggested monoprix or carrefour. Monoprix was closed but carrefour was open.ALAS!We find food. Across from the carrefour was a halal sub shop. Great and cheap food.The Gods saw our cries and helped us out!

We retreat back to the airbnb and wake up the next day ready to tackle on the world…………not before another mistake is made of course. Yall keeping up?

Mistake #3: My friend lost her passport in an uber (cute uber drive if I must say). After trying to contacts uber’s trash customer service,our friends at google tell us to make a police report.We walk around the corner to the most lax police station,I’ve ever been to.Not to say I frequent police stations, but y’all get the point.Every single place we go to the check our bags by glancing in them,or just touching the bottom,to determine we have no contraband.However how would they know if y’all just glancing. Kudos France.

So after a language barrier trying to tell them about a missing passport and me using my charm to get someone to translate for us we make the report.

And now we are off, to the Eiffel tower!

Check out the pics after the jump!

I had many croissants on this trip.I wouldn’t be doing you or me a favor if I didn’t try them all.There was a bakery around the corner and during this trip after 5 croissants ,4 macaroons and 2 chocolate croissants later,I can honestly say the best croissants are in France.

We went to the champs Elysee,which is this strip of richie rich items I cant afford. Although my defintion of afford is if I can buy it twice.Thats another blog post for another day.

After a long day of being fake bougie we went to have food. We went to Le Bistro Marbeauf  .We met a man from Canada who rave on and on about this fish dish that is from Lyon and its amazing.I decided you know what!Ill try it ………………………….don’t try it guys. Its called Quenelles de brochet Lyonnaise et riz (look at me and my french yall). And I could’ve done without.The cake was good though!


Next day! We head off to the Arc de triomphe. There’s an underground tunnel that leads you there,don’t contemplate crossing the street like we did.Also buy tickets online!It can get you ahead of the crowd (also their tickets are valid for a year).After climbing all TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR (284) to the top and having my heart nearly fail i made it.I got this  view for you guys y’all. I climbed up a winding stair case to get this view.


Afterwards we went to the Lourve. Streets had to see the Mona Lisa with my own eyes. Not before getting the cliche picture with the lourve and making sure i got my Baltimore’s finest on inside the museum

img_1605img_1607img_1683                                                                                                      img_1657

                                                                                The mona lisa! ^

We went back to Le Bistro Marbeauf where I had chicken,fries and a salad…….I d like to point out it was literally chicken,fries and a salad.VERY disappointing.

We wake up the next day to take an uber to Versailles Palace!Its where Louis the 16th HOLD UP King Louis the 16th and his many wives stayed. Imma out some respeck on his name.


The above three pics are the theater King Louis built for marie antoinette for their wedding!Future husband take note

Mistake #4……we bought tickets online for the tour,……….but guess who picked the wrong language tour and couldn’t understand the tour guide. YAA DID.So there we were two hours of french in this beautiful palace where i understood nothing.I WAS SHOOK.The other people on the tour we’re all “Oui why not spend zee uhh 18 euros to go to zee english tour’……yall got another 18 euros laying around because I sure dont. Also this entire time we didn’t understand a lick of french and was doing fine so far anyway.

The palace was gorgeous also king Louis built a theater for his wife as a wedding gift so men step ya game up. Yaa needs a house built with your bare hands with a theater inside.Thank You very much.



Its the last day in France!We head over to one of the many malls they have and I pick up gifts for the fam,specifically wine for my dad.We get the wine and we pick another bistro to eat at.I ordered a pancake from the breakfast section and it was a thin crepe, Mistake #5. I WAS SHOOK AND HUNGRY.

We finish up and boom Mistake #6 ,we get into an uber and one of the motorcycles decides to try and fit into the small space between our moving car and the parked cars.What happens next?A biker hitting our car and us in our first minor uber accident. Y’all with me now with all of this.

We get home and decide to hit up monoprixx for some snacks on the plane ride back,because I am not eating airplane chicken. IDC IDC IDC. THIS LEADS TO THE BEST MEAL WE HAVE HAD ON THE WHOLE TRIP!We went to a Chinese food spot and it was cheap and great!

Mistake #7 ensues and we dont have our one friend who speaks french with us.We try to navigate the menu and I turn around into the dimly lit sparsley filled restaurant and ask if anyone there speaks English. I have done this the entire trip and its worked so someone helps us!They translate for us so we can order.We are finishing up our meal and I try my hand at french by asking for some ‘dessertay’………i decided that everything in french had an accent at the end so in my mind dessertay was the best way to ask for some dessert.HOT TAKE it aint and everyone in the restaurant.However!We got our dessert.

We get home and fly put the next morning to Jersey only to find out my flight has been cancelled and they cant find my bag thats filled with expensive wine.Yes mistake #8 was my fault according to united because i checked my bag after before they texted me to tell me my flight was cancelled.I dont have the time.

France was great,dont go for the food,but stay for the crouissants and the cute french men.

Au Revoir and I think Ill catch yall soon


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